There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
