He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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