all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
