Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
