I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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