I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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