Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
