if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
