my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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