Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
