Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
