Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
this beer tastes like vomit already
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize