Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize