Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
