Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My breasts were aching with rage.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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