i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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