My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Terrible idea I love it
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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