I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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