well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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