if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
