i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
