they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
