I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Randomize
