the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Sext me about skeletons
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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