i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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