We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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