it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
