i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
