I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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