yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
