I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
