i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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