My balls are so social today.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
