Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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