OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
