I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
