Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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