Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
