So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
