I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
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