Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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