ADVERTISEMENT

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha

  Fav 5 1015 5074

  share tweet
  

• (619): View more from California

  If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.

  Fav 59 1291 3990

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (434): View more from Virginia

  he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him

  Fav 63 1791 4045

  share tweet
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.

  Fav 15 4668 821

  share tweet
  

• (305): View more from Florida

  nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.

  Fav 6 1866 4695

  share tweet
  

• (848): View more from New Jersey

  it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away

  Fav 17 1298 6519

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (209): View more from California

  Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.

  Fav 19 6823 1227

  share tweet
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..

  Fav 2 2159 1412

  share tweet
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear

  Fav 11 4825 1137

  share tweet
  

• (239): View more from Florida

  His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...

  Fav 11 932 2997

  share tweet
  

• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....

  Fav 0 389 596

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (530): View more from California

  I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good

  Fav 4 928 411

  share tweet
  

• (708): View more from Illinois

  I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.

  Fav 0 53 15

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.

  Fav 0 13 31

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (716): View more from New York

  Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed

  Fav 0 43 14

  share tweet
  

Randomize