That's intense
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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