careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Acid is not a monday night drug
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
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