And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
