I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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