a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
do nipples grow back?
Randomize