So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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