My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
