I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My vagina just clenched in fear
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