No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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