Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum

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(443): View more from Maryland

Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.

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(303): View more from Colorado

i think i just lost a toe

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(303): View more from Colorado

Have I told you i love you?

(970): View more from Colorado

there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery

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