i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Bring me that man meat
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm both gender and math confused
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
