Where did you get a picture of my penis
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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