ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
