just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
