did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
