Do you still have your period?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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