I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
