But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
