Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
