Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
